I spend like 75% of my waking hours online. Possibly more. I even spend some of my nonwaking hours online when I fall asleep while watching things online or just being online, thus making total online time at like 80% (or something – not very good at the maths.) Which is one of the reasons my lack of posting on this page is so upsetting. It’s like what the hell else am I spending time doing? That was rhetorical.

But back to the web. Which I actually haven’t gotten to yet.

So, last week someone turned me on this this:

It’s amazing – possibly the funniest thing on the entire web. It might have changed my life if I hadn’t immediately watched this and had my mind BLOWN:

I mean that one literally angers me at how amazing it is. When God gives you lemons you find a new God? Really, it’s awe-inspiring.

But that alone isn’t why I love the webs. Part of it. But what really amazes me is the fact the first one has 17 million goddamn hits. So two years went by and zero of those 17 million mother fuckers told me about it. Fuck you all! How the fuck did 17 million fucking people see that before me? 80% of my day is spent on the web and 17 MILLION people beat me too it! And I only say 17,000,000 not the 17,221,000 that are listed because I’m fairly confident that over the last week I personally account for 221,000 of them.

But that’s the beauty of it. Just when you think there’s nothing left, just when you think you’ve seen it all, just when you think you’re the master of your domain (in a Seinfeld-ish way not like as in ple1derland.com is my domain kind of way), something like this comes along and totally BLOWS YOUR MIND. It’s like dating a girl for five years then she informs you that she poops golden coins.

So thanks you interwebs. For everything you are, everything there’s still left to discover, and all that you had to offer in the future.